Can parents teach their kids ? I’d say so..

If I had a dollar for every time a parent said they can’t teach their child because they’re not a teacher , I’d be a rich woman ! My personal opinion is that parents make the best teachers for their children because they care more and know them better than anyone else. With information at our fingertips, learning apps and free videos on how to learn almost anything — the most important qualities in a great teacher seem to be empathy, developing a positive relationship with a child and guiding their natural learning process — as opposed to an ability to help convey learn and retain specific knowledge or skills.

However , recently this got me to thinking. Are there qualities that make great teachers truly great ? And can parents learn these ?

In terms of curriculum and making sure life have foundational knowledge of Stem, there really seems to be no point in re-inventing the wheel. Unless you are passionate about curriculum development parents

However, I do think there are a few tricks or the trade parents can easily apply to become better teachers.

Kids aren’t lazy , they are uninspired

No kid is fundamentally lazy. Kids are biologically programmed to learn. If a child is lazy, they might be uninspired for a myriad of reasons. they might be tired, sick, unhappy, have a belief they are incapable or not see the relevance of material to their own lives. By calling a child lazy or thinking it , you put a dangerous label on them which sticks them in a role.

Work smarter, not harder.

When parents push kids to work harder to succeed, it usually doesn’t get results. Help kids find better strategies for learning, rather than working more.

Don’t enable , empower

Many parents refuse to let kids suffer the consequences of their mistakes. They don’t give them time to figure out problems. They jump in to help them answer questions a friend or teacher asks and don’t give them the chance to pause and figure it out. They just give them whatever they want or need. Allowing kids to have problems , be frustrated and have to figure things out empower them for success.

Growth mindset

If you do nothing else, believe in your child’s ability to succeed. Don’t praise them for being smart or good or criticize them for being stupid or bad. Those are innate characteristics so it’s not actionable feedback. Praise them for working well, for working hard, for those characteristics that will lead to success. These are traits they have control over and can apply again and again.

Grit

Frustration and boredom are emotions for a reason. If kids feel frustrated with a task , that’s a good thing !! Don’t try to entertain, jump into help or make it go away. Celebrate frustration and remind kids that all great artists and entrepreneurs and writers get frustrated , It’s by moving forward and trying again that they become great . You’ll be surprised that even a 3 year old will understand this if you explain it to them. It wasn’t until I was 40 that I learned that diving into my frustration and focusing on learning from my failures is what would set my company apart from competitors, instead of saying “oh I guess I’m not capable or this was a bad idea,” asking “how can I solve this problem?” And trying again, again and again. You can model grit for your kids and it will make you happier and more successful too!

Relevance

A very important teaching tool is drawing connections between material and kids own lives. The classic example of this is in the movie a beautiful mind where the hero develops his famous math theory from figuring out he and his friends should pick up girls in a bar by no one choosing the blonde. A very simple example would be — if your kids are learning about addition and they love cats. You might create a word problem like if I have one cat and we get two more, how many cats would we have ? Connecting the material to something kids. enjoy makes them remember it better.

Meaning

It’s so important that kids know why they are learning what they are learning. Take the time to explain in detail why learning the skill is important to their success and happiness in life. Would you want to do a project at work if you didn’t know why it was helpful to your company ? Or to your personal career growth ? Kids don’t like to do stuff for no reason either.

Understanding your child’s learning style

As a parent , you know how your child learns best better than anyone else. Do they love taking care of plants or animals ? Consider doing an outdoor math lesson. Do they love watching shows ? Take advantage of all the great YouTube videos for learning. Do they love legos ? Try to find hands on projects to work on together. Do they love podcasts ? Then find some great educational ones. Do they like video games? Get them done learning apps ! If a kid needs to jump around and do cartwheels while learning multiplication tables, then let them !

Patience

Every child leaned at their own rate. I often find adults jump in so quickly after they ask a child a question to nudge them towards the answer before they even ask for help. This is unfortunate as it really interrupts their process of learning to figure. things out themselves. Try to wait at least a full minute after asking a question but honestly if you can wait an hour or forever until they ask for help it’s better.

Projects

Involving kids in projects is always a great way to learn, especially if the project is initiated by the student. Writing a story together, putting on a play, organizing a sports team, building a bird house, are all great ways to bring in science, math, engineering , art, entrepreneurship all together under one roof. Not all projects have to be completed but it’s good if you and your child can make a conscious mindful decision if you decide not to finish something and it’s important to complete some of them.

Student as teacher

Some say final stage of mastery is being able to teach. If your child is learning a concept , see if they can teach it to you to deepen their learning. Really strive to understand and in doing so, they will get even clearer on the concept.

Let kids guide learning

This is a tough idea for a lot of parents to really give into completely, but so self-evident to great teachers: the best learning kids will do is learning they initiate. People do have a natural proclivity to learn about the world around them for their own happiness and success. I hope you’ll give your child lots of time to explore their interests and take them to the limit. This can also be applied to learning they didn’t initiate. If a child asks a question, try asking them “what do you think ?” Or “do you have tools you can use to figure this out?” rather than jumping in with an explanation. Give your kid the best exit of the doubt and they may surprise you.

Emotions and direct experience help retain information — humor is your friend

I have seen so many people learn to speak a foreign language fluently in a year because they fell in love with someone who spoke it (this seems to work substantially better then even living in the country.) going to museums, field trips, apprenticeships are all such great ways to have visceral experiences that help us absorb and retain information .

I’ll end on this note.

When I used to tutor the SSAT (high school entrance exam) to 13 year old boys, I turned every vocab definition into a fart joke. My students performed better than any others in the agency. If you get laughing or have any strong emotion related to what you are learning, you retain information better.