Giving away our power to “the test”

Our secret faith in standardized assessments, grade levels, academic standards and one-size fits all measurements of how well our kids are doing.

It’s my experience that the majority of parents you talk to put little faith in standardized assessments to give an accurate picture of how well their children are learning. In 2015, 20% of NY parents opted out of taking tests altogether.

Likewise, most parents are intuitively aware that in a world where the work force is changing so quickly, soft skills such as creativity, autonomy, grit and follow-through are much more important than hard skills like geometry or chemistry. And the hard skills children are learning in school might not even be the ones they need. Data science and financial literacy are but two examples of critically important topics kids are not expected to learn in school. (I won’t even get into skills we need to learn to be happy like how to love ourselves, get along, have a healthy romantic relationship, find our purpose or inner peace). Furthermore, while it’s great to have a child who is well-rounded, there’s also an awareness that some human beings end up being very passionate about just one thing, like microbiology, caring for animals or dance — and that’s ok too.

Now here’s the funny thing. In spite of this obvious fact that standardized assessments don’t portray an accurate picture of how well their child is doing, if a parent finds out that their child is performing “below grade level” according to state standards the majority will freak out. When families discover their child is performing “above grade level,” the joy becomes ecstatic and is often followed by a flurry of tweets celebrating their approach to their children’s education.

We care what others think about us.

We doubt ourselves.

But above all, I think a lot of this is driven, not what we know our child needs to learn and thrive, but our absolute terror that we will fail as parents. So much of our identity is wrapped around that role. There are so many people judging us, not just relatives and friends, but society as a whole. And there is no harsher judge than ourselves.

Unfortunately, when we act from this place of fear, afraid to fail our kids, that is exactly what we end up doing. In our efforts to stop failing as parents by stopping our kids from failing the one-size-fits-all academic standards that have been prescribed as their measure of success, we don’t give them the opportunity to help them reach their true potentials as intellectuals, as leaders, as friends, as creative beings.

The sad thing is that in our efforts to keep up with the hard academic skills that society tells us are so important, so very little time is left for consistent focus on the soft skills. How much time does your child have per day for free time, to direct their own learning? How much time do they have to be bored, bored enough for that spark of creativity to come? How much time do they have to think about what excites them and what they want to do in life and create a project around it? Is it 20 minutes of recess? An hour, 2 months of summer. I doubt it’s equal to the time they spend studying academics.

So today, I’m challenging you to be bold.

Stop letting others tell you what’s important and set your own goals for your child’s education — or even better, let them set theirs.

What does your child most need right now to thrive as a thinker and doer in this world? In your unique community?

Is it an uninterrupted period of time where you allow them to be bored, refuse to entertain them, until that natural spark of creativity comes?

Is it a playdate with a friend where they can learn to be creative and collaborative?

Is it a day at the library to choose their favorite book?

Is it a class in marine biology (the topic that fascinates them most)?

Is it a special hike with you, where you talk about your hopes and dreams and hear theirs?

Is it a family trip around the world?

If there’s one thing I’m sure of in all my years as a teacher is that children are born into this world to learn, they come primed to find passions and ingeniously draw on all the resources available to themselves to realize those passions, they come equipped to teach themselves tools they need to survive, they’re here to connect with others in a community and become part of something greater than themselves.

Why interrupt that extraordinary drive by forcing them to learn things they’re not interested in a way that’s not appealing to them? Why not give them the space and time they need to explore?

It’s a radical idea, but one, I think, that merits, at the least, a little pause for thought.