Highly social homeschooling
Homeschooling (Especially secular homeschooling in cities) is generally much more social than school.
May families considering homeschooling are worried that their children won’t make friends.
This is generally amusing to homeschoolers who have such a packed social calendar that they sometimes need to decline social invitations to get a little family time.
Homeschooling (Especially secular homeschooling in cities) is generally much more social than school.
Here’s why:
School is a socially engineered environment with little time for organic play. Children sit in rows or at tables of 4–6 with little opportunity for movement. Notes and conversation are discouraged during classroom. Generally, children get 30 minutes for recess. Exclusive clicks frequently form. Children with special needs are isolated and pulled out of the group for 1–1 sessions or put into special classes. Parents have little time to connect besides 15 minutes for pick-up (unless children are bussed home) and playdates have to be scheduled via the teacher. I have worked in schools where parents were discouraged from connecting with the teacher and the teacher was instructed to direct parent communication to the principal. Diversity is limited. All ages in the class are the same. Since schools are formed by neighborhood, children connect primarily with other children whose families can afford the same level of rent/ real estate value.
Homeschooling is an organic environment where families rely on each other for learning and childcare. Multiple ages play together. Generally families connect by city. Since families homeschool for a wide range of reasons, there is a large diversity of income levels, race, ethnicity and language. As famlies who make this choice have often been ostracized by their school system due to racism, bullying or poor public schools and extremely expensive private schools, there are a large number of underprepresented groups participating. Also, since families understand what it feels like to have their voice not represented, they are incredibly inclusive and welcoming to others.
Here’s what a typical social calendar looks like for a San Francisco homeschooler
Generally homeschoolers study 2–3 hours in the morning or afternoon with a parent. This one-on-one instruction is highly efficient and
Monday afternoon — meetup in the forest or botanical gardens with 15–20 children for plant science and nature exploration (2–3 hours)
Tuesday morning — parent-led cooperative with 6–8 children where parents take turns doing project-based learning with the children. (2–3 hours)
Wednesday all day — 10–15 children go on a field trip to a local museum, historical site, local business or other place of interest (4–5 hours)
Thursday — Chess club (led by a teacher) and science class (let by a homeschool parent who is a professor at USF in the mornings, dance class at a local dance studio in the afternoons.
Fridays — a leisurely morning with family followed by 2–3 hours of picnic and play in the park with 20–30 children ages 2–17.
Saturdays — An overnight trip with another family to stay at a lighthouse and watch the seals.
Here’s what a typical social calendar might look like for a typical public or private school student who does not have a regular afterschool program.
Get up at 7am, go to school until 3pm, get home at 4pm or go to afterschool activities.
Monday — soccer practice, homework
Tuesday — one hour playdate after school followed by homework, bath bed.
Wednesday — piano lesson, homework bed
Thursday, dance lesson, 1 hour playdate, bed
Friday — sleepover
Saturday — birthday party, playdate, sleepover party
There are many good reasons to choose school over homeschooling, but socialization is not one of them.
Homeschoolers have incredibly vibrant social lives, feel accepted, loved and get exposure to diverse groups that they may never have connected with in a traditional classroom. And the same is true for their parents.
