Your child’s best teacher…is you.

No matter what you hear, or how ill-equipped you might feel, the person best suited to raise your child is you.

So often as a teacher, it broke my heart to see how disenfranchised and powerless parents felt when it came to their child’s education.

I would be instructed by the school principal to forward any correspondence from parents to them.

I would run into a parent on a plane or in a Co-working space with a new baby and the moment they found out I was a teacher their eyes would light up, their body would relax, they would look at me with desperate eyes and explain, “I have no idea what I’m doing! What do I do?!”

But, you know.

I would talk to physicians, leaders of industry, respected professors who would sheepishly ask me, a 25 year old with 3 years of tutoring experience if the anxiety attacks their children were experiencing were really worth the SAT results and I would firmly reassure them that the SAT and the subsequent college corresponded zilch with their child’s happiness and success.

And there were others, who were not so nice, who were so terrified their child wouldn’t get into a good school that they became mean and strict and paralyzed their kids, which of course only added to their poor performance. Perhaps these parents cared more what others thought than the well-being of their child, but I think deep down, all they really wanted was their child to be safe ave loved.

I felt so much empathy for these parents, who felt helpless and were flailing to do right by their child, so afraid to disappoint them.

And how many parents have experienced the frustration of their child coming home from school and asking “what did you do today, honey?” And being greeted with a blank stare.

And so, the message I want to share with parents is to trust your instincts, that you do in fact know, what is best for your child.

I don’t need to give you proof, because inside yourself you already know. If you deeply ask yourself, is it true my child gets too much homework ? Is it true I should just let them enjoy playing outside and forget this stupid common core math sheet homework ? Is it true that if they love science more then anything else and just want to read books about physics, this French essay doesn’t really matter ? Is it true they need a year off before college ? Is it true they don’t need to study numbers in Prek and can just play and they’ll do just as well? Is it true I should pull them out of this school where they are being bullied and teach them myself ? Is it ok my son doesn’t know how to read and his friend does — do I know he’ll figure it out? If you ask yourself these questions, the answer is yes. You know. You know. You know.

If you doubt your intuition, Harvard studies are here to back you up. Longitudinal studies demonstrate that children who play in Prek vs children who focus on academics do just as well or better in school and life , that the top 1% at any university class is identical to any university elsewhere and we have countless examples of successful entrepreneurs who skipped college all together, a parent merely sitting with their child while they are doing their homework impacts their success in school more than any other factor — teacher, curriculum, technology, and when a parent is not available the community can fill this role. Online playlists that help parents teach kids are having a massive, unprecedented impact on children’s learning — and while only a few, small studies have been done, we are already seeing the incredible results of parents who are homeschooling their kids.

I will say that there is a Big caveat here which must be mentioned — which is that there are still a large number of kids who are abused, neglected, malnourished , abandoned by a parent or both parents (and I myself am a daughter of a single mom). And we need as a society to look out for these kids and make sure they are safe and well and hold their parents accountable and support them - and do a much better job of it than we are today.

However, I have also witnessed that the power of a loving parent teaching their child or merely being present while their child learns or modeling for their child (think of all the successful CEO’s whose parents were entrepreneurs!) or even better being engaged and learning alongside their child as their child learns — a parents involvement in their child’s learning- has unparalleled power.

We no longer live in a society where teachers (experts) carry knowledge in their heads that only they can impart to students. Information flows freely all over the internet. There are so many places to learn!

And so now, more than ever, the teacher has changed from a purveyor of information to l a facilitator for learning — and who is better equipped to fill that role that you! The parent who cares more about your child and understands them better than anyone.

And so, I invite you.

Reclaim your confidence as your child’s key instructor. Fight for what you know they need in their education. Learn alongside them. Be as involved as you want them to me. Communicate with their teacher or, and this is controversial…If you want and if you can, pull them out or school and teach them yourself! I’d be happy to advise you on that incredible journey.

Take back your power today, for the love of your child, for the love of their innate love to learn, to keeping the light of the love of learning alice and bright in them forever and rekindle it if it’s been lost.

Have faith in what you already know.

Your child’s best teacher is you!